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  torturetorturer

So, it's been a few weeks since I wrote in here.

I'm just letting everyone know that I'm still here. I'm going through shit/hell right now so that's why I don't post anymore because I found that writing real things in my livejournal doesn't solve any problems. In fact it makes them worse. I have a different livejournal that for right now, is private. Once hell is over I'll switch over and make it public (I've had this thing for four years, it's time to move on.) Until then, I'll make some comments here and there and that's about it.

<3

Alison Fraser
aka
starbuck

My Peace Cinema prof is hilariously unstandable-he should stop teaching and go into advertising or something-he always seems like he's trying to sell things. Seeing "The Day the Earth Stood Still" today was a bit interesting in the fact that it was so bad that it was good. And probably accomplished what few fifties and sixties movies have ever done-not have effective mass hysteria (acting wise) concerning the Cold War and other war related events in American society. If I wanted fear I could watch the Twlight Zone and be satisfied without seeing sucky films about robots and aliens and building robots to rule the universe; i.e, Battlestar Galactica.

Back at school. The first day was super stressful because I hadn't registered for classes and I still need one more class and it needs a prereq and I don't have it. But other than that things are good. I have a room, I have space lights and monster slippers. My creative writing class is gonna be strange-it's total review of what I did at Waring-like CORE writing. But in a way it's kind of nice-it a refresher for my senses-back to basics kind of shit. But it could get to be boresome after a while. I don't know. My Lit class on the other hand-Fictions of Crime=amazing. And Theatre is gonna be good I think. Okay, need to go start some homework.

• incomprehensible stupidity
• packing large suitcases/rejecting Elliot from coming along
• "House Season 3" on DVD
• someday I'll post some of what I'm writing and then maybe-just maybe-you'll understand where I'm coming from.

Back at school/camp tomorrow. I'm packed up and I'm craving cinnamon sticks from Domino's. I don't know why.

I'm bored out of my mind and anxious about various things: My friend being okay, my other friend being hurt again, am I able to work at the library again, my teeth hurt, and if I packed enough socks. It's hot and sticky.

baby, baby, I think it's time we move on now.

It's weird when I look at pictures of myself and pretend I'm someone else looking at me. What do other people see when they see a picture of me? I know what I think of people when I see pictures of them, but I'm in my own body, I can feel myself, whereas looking at a picture you can't feel that person, you don't know what it's like being in that person's body. Everyone has pictures of themselves online now so it just seems weird, it's like we try and connect to pictures of people we hardly know. You can't know what it's like.

goodnight.

I'm feeling a bit better about going back to Antioch. I got my single which was a huge struggle for me for some reason. And the best part is that I'm right next door to Chris so it'll be easier than ever hang out. Apparently, according to the partner in crime, I'm on the ground floor of Mills and I have a doublesingle. So much better than North/wild n' crazy first years. I need to register for classes. I know two, but I need two more and I don't know what to take. I need to go take partner to the bus station.

Yesterday I went into Cambridge with the partner in crime. I got some clothes at dollar-a-pound which is in fact now 1.50 a pound. The liars. But I don't mind because I got some sweet pants that I don't even need to alter to fit me. Got some shirts to cut up and a pair of overalls that will be a cute dress once I cut away the crotch.

And then we went to the bead store where I hadn't been to in years so I went a little crazy and bought some beads for a necklace for him and then one fishbone bead for my hempchoker.

Okay so I tried putting it in third person and it totally destroyed the style so I'm re-doing it again with first person. Blah blah blahblah. I realized that I'm the person writing it so I can basically do whatever I want as long as I justify it so switching between first, second and third person should not be a problem as long as it makes sense within the story.